BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"- Library of Mu
- Library of Mu record:
- Title: BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"
- Date: 06 July, 1996
- Journal: Melody Maker
- Author: ?
- Type of resource: News items
- Status: text
- No. views: 1979
- Description: A west county farmer "claims that 'sonic waves' fired from Cauty's armoured personnel vehicle caused a herd of cows to stampede"
BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"
By ? (06 July, 1996, Melody Maker)
JIMMY CAUTY, formerly of The K Foundation, is in trouble with a West
Country farmer who claims that "sonic waves" fired from Cauty's
armoured personnel vehicle caused a herd to stampede and one pregnant
heifer to lose a calf. The farmer is now seeking damages from Cauty,
who recently recorded an album of sonic waves for Paul Smith's Blast
First label under the name AAA. The album is currently in the hands
of lawyers who are trying to clear some of the samples used on
Cauty's spokesman told The Maker : "He was testing his two Audio
Weapon Systems in a field near his new home. 'He alerted people to the
fact that he was doing this by setting off some military flares. Then
he tested his Audio Weapons System for an hour for a very select group
of scientists and friends. The Audio Weapons System is not designed to
kill people." However, this didn't impress Farmer Ray Tucker and his
wife, Pat, who said : "It sounded like an aircraft in distress. Then
it started again, like a very loud Rolf Harris didgeridoo."
Cauty, who assembled his Audio Weapon System from instructions posted
on the Internet, first tested it at a Wire gig on Hungerford Bridge in
May. It cost tens of thousands of pounds to build. In January,
Panasonic borrowed one of the Audio Weapons Systems for tests on how
sonic waves affect the human body.
Cauty was unable or unwilling to answer questions faxed to him by The
Maker. However, a fax from Mr. Smith, the Head Of Commercial
Exploitation at Advanced Acoustic Armaments, was sent to The Maker. It
read : "The test took place to establish the parameters of the new
vehicle solo and in tandem with its sister model, SS 9000K+L. The test
featured new software generated for our latest commercial client, EXP
LTD, and is described by Mr. Cauty as featuring 'the ultimate battle
between sound and commerce ending in the death of all musicians and
their ascension to rock'n'roll heaven or hell as befits them.'
Yesterday we received communication with ex-Government employees who,
in the Sixties, worked on audio weapon development with an offer of
help and some ex-classified equipment. We regret any such death or
damage that has resulted from our tests, but there are casualties in
every war. The Triple A Formation Attack Ensemble will perform
'Foghorns Of The Northern Hemisphere' as part of an educational
programmed supporting our research shortly."
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