BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"- Library of Mu

Library of Mu record:
Title: BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"
Date: 06 July, 1996
Journal: Melody Maker
Author: ?
Type of resource: News items
Status: text
No. views: 1967
Description: A west county farmer "claims that 'sonic waves' fired from Cauty's armoured personnel vehicle caused a herd of cows to stampede"


BUT CAUTY'S APV ORDERED "GET ORF MOI LAND!"

By ? (06 July, 1996, Melody Maker)

JIMMY CAUTY, formerly of The K Foundation, is in trouble with a West Country farmer who claims that "sonic waves" fired from Cauty's armoured personnel vehicle caused a herd to stampede and one pregnant heifer to lose a calf. The farmer is now seeking damages from Cauty, who recently recorded an album of sonic waves for Paul Smith's Blast First label under the name AAA. The album is currently in the hands of lawyers who are trying to clear some of the samples used on it.

Cauty's spokesman told The Maker : "He was testing his two Audio Weapon Systems in a field near his new home. 'He alerted people to the fact that he was doing this by setting off some military flares. Then he tested his Audio Weapons System for an hour for a very select group of scientists and friends. The Audio Weapons System is not designed to kill people." However, this didn't impress Farmer Ray Tucker and his wife, Pat, who said : "It sounded like an aircraft in distress. Then it started again, like a very loud Rolf Harris didgeridoo."

Cauty, who assembled his Audio Weapon System from instructions posted on the Internet, first tested it at a Wire gig on Hungerford Bridge in May. It cost tens of thousands of pounds to build. In January, Panasonic borrowed one of the Audio Weapons Systems for tests on how sonic waves affect the human body.

Cauty was unable or unwilling to answer questions faxed to him by The Maker. However, a fax from Mr. Smith, the Head Of Commercial Exploitation at Advanced Acoustic Armaments, was sent to The Maker. It read : "The test took place to establish the parameters of the new vehicle solo and in tandem with its sister model, SS 9000K+L. The test featured new software generated for our latest commercial client, EXP LTD, and is described by Mr. Cauty as featuring 'the ultimate battle between sound and commerce ending in the death of all musicians and their ascension to rock'n'roll heaven or hell as befits them.' Yesterday we received communication with ex-Government employees who, in the Sixties, worked on audio weapon development with an offer of help and some ex-classified equipment. We regret any such death or damage that has resulted from our tests, but there are casualties in every war. The Triple A Formation Attack Ensemble will perform 'Foghorns Of The Northern Hemisphere' as part of an educational programmed supporting our research shortly."

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